"What do you mean you're going to write about being a short person?" demanded my wife. "You're not short."
I reminded her that at 5'8" in some other countries, and America in particular... the land of giants - I was indeed short. And getting shorter as I aged.
There may come a time, I said, if I left it long enough when that article might have to be written about me as a dwarf.
Over the years I've learned a lot about short people, and there are some interesting twists I'll reveal here.
Abraham Shakespeare, center, didn't win the $30 million Florida Lottery because of his height.
But there's one feature that makes short folk no different to anyone else. But before I tell you, let me list some the things that I've learnt:
# As a short person, you should always take care of your lower set of teeth first if you want to make a good impression. That's because many other people will be looking down at you when you meet them, and the condition of your bottom teeth is going to be more important.
# Short people will appear taller if they dress in similar colors top and bottom. (However I now believe that's a myth, because most people have almost a sixth sense about size and shape. You can't fool them if you try and dress in black to look thinner, because they will see right past your disguise). But dressing in one color, or close shades of it, will make a few people wonder at times. Look at my photo beside my Aston Martin on my website to see I follow that philosophy.
# Short people should NEVER appear next to tall people. Either in photos, in the flesh or in a group. The height difference will make them look silly no matter who they are. Examples... celeb Kim Kardashian and her tall ex-husband Kris Humphries... singer Rod Stewart and wife Penny Lancaster... Bernie Ecclestone and former wife Slavica. If you can't avoid doing this, always make sure you are both sitting down together to even out the differences. For most tall people the height advantage is only in their legs.
# Shorties should never use lifting devices. Short guy Simon Cowell is renowned for using shoe lifts and tall heels, and draping his trouser cuff on the ground to cover them. He also quiffs his hair up to appear taller. We can see right through his rising antics! But short folk can combat their height better by making sure their jackets are not too long, and wear close fitting outfits so they don't appear 'lost' inside their clothes.
You can appear taller with the right hat!
# Short people can appear taller by simply dressing more formally. Instead of wearing a sloppy polo shirt and jeans, men should wear a dress shirt and trousers. It will make a huge difference - they will be taken more seriously. I remember going to a seminar where a prominent business man was speaking. I had only ever seen him in photos, and when he passed by my seat on his way out I was amazed he was only 5'2". He had appeared a giant in the media because he always dressed formally.
# Short people are likely to live longer. You rarely see a 6'4'' tall 100 year-old... the long-lived are always short.
So what is the advantage of being tall? OK, tall people may get ahead faster in business. Some studies have shown they earn more in a job. Most execs are tall, most assertive career people are tall. They are likely to climb the corporate ladder faster and get more respect.
And so what is the advantage of being short?
Winning the lottery.
When you win lotto, you are not chosen because of your height, your looks or any other feature. Winning without bias is one of the few advantages in life - no matter who you are, or how tall. Money doesn't choose you on height.
Universally it's proven by having money you overcome all the so-called advantages of being tall. If you're a wealthy short man, then you will still be swamped by attractive women no matter how diminutive you are.
And if the gene pool goes in your favor, then you will have tall children just like many other mismatched couples.
What I'm saying is this - don't let ANY limitations stop you from getting prizes. Height, age, weight, location... nothing like this matters, because you win on your numbers alone.
And here's how you do it: